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This book recommendation may seem a bit off topic, but honestly it has provided me with so much “getting back on track” that I couldn’t be the parent I am without having read it.
The idea of designating my time in terms of roles and goals has been instrumental in keeping me balanced as a person (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual), as a friend, a family member, a community member, a co-worker, and – at this time in my life – most importantly a parent.
The other concept that has guided and righted my ship numberous (haha that’s a great typo) times is the quadrant planning tool. The most significant aspect of it is noticing those things in our life that are not pressing or urgent, but are IMPORTANT. I am the Queeeeen of putting all of my ASAP tasks behind anything with an actual deadline, and all of my important tasks somewhere between Rainbow Bright and the Care Bears*.
Note: If you did not grow up in the 80’s, first of all I am so sorry, what a bummer, if there’s anything I can do to help please let me know; second, *what I mean is that those dreams are (or were, until I read this book) in the clouds.
One additional piece of advice – not directly from this book, but combined with some wisdom from my mom (thanks mom!) – that has shaped my self-concept was to recognize that one cannot “Get an A”, ie. do their best work as a parent, a housekeeper, a student, a partner… all at the same time. Many colleges now even frown upon 4.0 GPAs because it is impossible highly improbable to achieve that while also being creative and social and all of the other soft skills that are required to be a productive worker sustainably. (Obviously there are exceptions to any impossibilities. Especially if one goes to a really cool school that values real values.)
I’m not at all advocating for just letting the rest of your life go to heck so you can be a good parent, because the stress of a mucked up life is not good for parenting, but just to give yourself grace when you fall short a bit in one area or another, recognize the juggling act you are attempting, and know that you are doing your best. Or, if you really feel you are not, re-calibrate.
Take some time for yourself to map out new strategies, and ask for help if needed. I realize that it often takes an enormous amount of strength to reach out when you are struggling. If you are not sure who or how to ask for help, please get in touch and I will do my best help you figure it out or find someone who can!